So many emotions and so much meaning packed into such a small word.
A word that provides so much hope for one person can always be a word that is pack full of sorrow and brokenness for an other.
I struggle with this. I struggle with thinking that my future children will have felt more pain and sorrow and loss than I can ever understand. It is nothing I have ever dealt with. My heart aches as I slowly come to the realization that I can not just kiss and cuddle their hurt away.
That is the word that has crept into my daily vocabulary when it comes to my life. Dealing with the mass loads of appointments and paperwork that I fit in between my children’s preschool and activity schedules. Spending spare moments packing up boxes as we prepare to move to a bigger house. A house that can fit our growing family. A house that is more than double the one we are currently in. How am I going to clean that place let alone fill it with furniture? Overwhelmingly blessed.
I had a dream when I was younger to work with orphans. I never really knew what that would look like or how it would pan out. When I met my husband it started to become clear. Adoption became a reality when I said “I do” to the love of my life.
Now that I am walking the road on our way to adopting our next two children I often wonder why this was a dream for me? Why would I so long to walk such a hard road. Why do I find so much peace when I am filling out paperwork? Why do I want to make life more complicated for myself? Why do I want to make it messy? Why do I want to spend my money this way? Why? Because it is the right thing to do? Nope. that can not be it. I am not that selflessly motivated.
Like everything in my life, when I dig down deep into the root of why I am motivated , it all comes down to my love for God and His Love for me. Such an overwhelming, blessed, adoptive love He has given me. He has accepted all my brokenness and mess that I have created and that was created for me and LOVES me anyways. He has accepted me into His family with no strings attached. He has called me to be the very best I can be and has promised to never leave me or forsake me. He has given me everything. He has sacrificed everything for me. He has paid the ultimate cost for my life. He has asked in return that I will Love Him and love others.
Adoption is putting that love into action. Adoption is following what God has called us to do. I know it is not simple. But nothing good ever is. I know it will be so hard. I will cry and wonder what I have done. But I am holding tight to the fact that God probably does the same with me. I make so many mistakes and He probably sits back and wonders what He has done to deserve having such a horrible failure as a daughter. I am owed nothing. God has given me everything.
By opening up our family and our home to children who have neither, we are following in the exact same footsteps as the Lord who saved me. We are called to care for the orphans and the widows. Practical Love. Practical Needs. I may feel that this is overwhelming, and it would be if I was alone. But I am not. We are not. God has our family in His hands and right now two of our children are waiting to be invited in.
Keep us in your prayers as we send out our paperwork next week. Gods timing. Our hearts. It is always my favorite part when I do what I can and then leave it in Gods Hands. He Never Disappoints and always goes above and beyond.
-lioness, waiting for her Cubs